I just sort of need to write today. I'm not upset about anything, I'm not angry at anyone, I just kind of need to talk through some things with myself. I guess this is what happens when I'm stuck home sick for a couple days.
I've been thinking a lot about our wedding lately. My Mom and I went to look at invitations this past Saturday and after looking through about 9 books of different invitations to all kinds of events, we found 2 that were acceptable to me. They both ran about $800 for as many as we needed. I didn't love any of them, so we found some papers and such that I LOVED! We're going to end up making the invites ourselves, which isn't so bad, except that about half of the stuff for the wedding is going to be hand made. I've looked at about a million traditional wedding dresses and can't find anything I like, so I'm going to make it. I don't love any of the bridesmaids dresses I've seen so I'm letting the girls do their own thing. I'm thinking of making the flower girl's dress. I want to make whatever the favors end up being, I want to make the majority of the centerpieces. We're having to find someone who makes good whoopie pies because neither Steve nor I like wedding cake. It's just that now the wedding is about 10 and a half months away and it's seeming like a lot, it's normal everyday life plus a crapload of extra stuff. All of this makes me wonder if I might be happier with a traditional wedding, a big white dress bought from a big name designer, have all the bridesmaids go for fittings together for their dresses, make everything match everything else perfectly. But I think that scenario would make me want to shoot people. I'm not perfect. I don't try to be perfect. Why would I want my wedding to be perfect and look like everyone else's cookie cutter wedding? I guess what I'm trying to get at is that this is all starting to feel like a lot of work for a weekend of fun, but I guess it'll be worth it in the end right?