Rambling

I don't really know what I want to post about today, but it's one of those days that I just feel the need to blog. It's my favorite kind of day, overcast, colder, kind of gloomy. I know that's a very goth statement of me, but it's the kind of day, you want to sit home and be creative, I would love to be home right now quilting. I think that's my big passion right now, I'm kind of burnt out on knitting, I'd love to be knitting, but I can't find anything I really want to knit. I think I have knitting ennui. For me it's an Ani Difranco kind of day.

Steve and I were talking about taking this girls to Disneyland, my Dad's best friend's daughters, they are 15 and 19. He made me feel old, because I don't have my finger on the pulse of teens today, but then I got to thinking and I don't think I had my finger on the pulse of kids when I was that age. I think that's part of growing up with a weird lesbian environmentalist in the house. I never saw the world the way most people did, I wasn't listening to the music of the time, I still don't.

I never realized how much I was missing from my life before Steve came along and turned it on it's head. I have never been so happy in my life. Between having a man I love dearly and who loves me back with the same intensity and becoming instant mommy with Chris, I never knew I could feel so much at once. This kid who isn't even my son has taken my heart and made it 4 times bigger. Steve is the only man who has ever been everything I need when I need it, he constantly surprises me, and I love that he isn't weak minded, and isn't willing to back down on his beliefs. It's funny to me how things in life work themselves out. I think that's it for now.

I know this post was totally random and disjointed, but I just needed to talk to someone without being shamed into going to church. I feel like everyone here at the office constantly gives me the stink eye for living with Steve and not being married, but thus is life.